The Mystery and Magic of Joy
- Susan Jezek
- 1 day ago
- 7 min read
Elusive? Inherent? What research and experience say.
My husband is retiring this year. Everyone knows this because he has spent the past two months announcing it publicly and privately...and basking in the glowing and flowing positive feedback of his colleagues, peers, and associates. This heightened optimism for what's next plus reflection on his past accomplishments bring him great joy, because his career has brought him great joy.
Sounds simple, right?
It's not so simple for women...at least not for me.
As women age, we can find ourselves at unique crossroads in life. For those of us over 50 (or 60???) in America, joy can be shaped by complex social, psychological, and spiritual factors -- not just by our work or specific identities, of which we have many. So how do these factors contribute to the happiness and overall well-being of women in our demographic?
Can joy actually be cultivated, or is it simply a "state" of being?
The Changing Social Landscape
Social connections play a vital role in our feelings of joy, especially for women like me who are naturally extroverted. Studies have shown that social engagement positively correlates with happiness. According to the National Institute on Aging, older adults who maintain social ties report higher levels of satisfaction and overall well-being.
Maintaining relationships and honoring social commitments can be especially challenging if you are caring for an aging parent (or parents) while you also strive to redefine your own priorities. Just when you think you are on a path, it takes a hard turn or something drops out of the sky along the way that demands or deflects your attention. This is a season...but a challenging one as the push-pull of obligations can become consuming.
Other factors such as retirement, empty nesting, or moving to a new community can significantly affect these connections. My sister, who recently retired after 35 years of teaching, realized her dream of living near the beach in a socially connected neighborhood on the coast of South Carolina where she was warmly welcomed at mahjong, holiday parties, and Bible Study. While her new friends are glad she's there, many of them have known each other for 20+ years so it's not always easy to naturally merge into their established social rituals. She says "you don't realize it at first, but you need them more than they need you."
Many women over 50 are increasingly using technology to foster relationships and reconnect with old friends (such as my sister). Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Zoom can help combat feelings of isolation when accessed with intention. Affinity groups on social media can also bring like-minded women with similar interests together, while allowing users to engage at the level most comfortable for them.
The more connections one has, the greater the chances of feeling joy in everyday life.
Psychological Well-Being and the Pursuit of Joy
Psychology plays a fundamental role in understanding joy in women over 50. At this age, women often become more attuned to their personal needs and desires. According to a study published in the Journal of Gerontology, emotional regulation becomes more pronounced in older women, which allows them to respond to life’s challenges with greater resilience.
Women often report feeling more liberated after reaching 50. This newfound freedom can lead to prioritizing self-care practices, which significantly boost mental health. Activities such as journaling, meditation, volunteering, pursuing a meaningful occupational role (vs a practical one), and engaging in hobbies we might not have had time for in previous life phases foster a sense of accomplishment and well-being.
Research also shows that practicing gratitude can increase joy. (Duh, right?) A study by Emmons and McCullough highlights that individuals who regularly write down things they are thankful for display a greater sense of well-being. Women over 50 who embrace gratitude often find their lives enriched and their minds open to new possibilities. This sounds trite, but it works. My own journals (although sporadic in continuity) often contain written prayers to God that close simply with "thank you." Or a grocery list.
Women tend to re-evaluate life goals and aspirations in this age group. (Raise your hand if this includes you, too...) Engaging in lifelong learning, whether through formal education or personal interest, can lead to higher levels of happiness. It's also good for brain health, something I find myself caring about more than ever after witnessing the negative impact of dementia on quality of life.
Physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual wellness are proven to be interconnected. And when I feel good, I feel joyful.
Spiritual Dimensions of Joy
Joy in women over 50 is not solely derived from social or psychological aspects; spiritual health plays a significant role. For many, spirituality is a source of comfort, providing meaning and purpose in life. Research repeatedly indicates that spirituality is linked to improved mental health and increased levels of happiness. A Mayo Clinic study reported that 90% of people claim to be "spiritual" and/or believe in a Higher Being.
Spiritual practices include prayer, faith-based activities, mindfulness, study and memorization of Scripture, or simply spending time in nature. According to the Pew Research Center, a large number of older women engage in spiritual practices that contribute to their sense of peace and joy.
The Bible mentions joy in several contexts and describes it as a "fruit of the Spirit" not rooted in our circumstances, but in our connection to God. It's also closely linked to suffering and mourning...with the hope that joy is an outcome of both. (Not my favorite ways to find joy, however!)
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Psalm 16:11
Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning. Psalm 30:5b
Count it all joy, my brothers (and sisters), when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. James 1:2-3
Engaging in service-oriented activities can enhance spiritual fulfillment. Women who contribute to philanthropic or mission-centered efforts often experience heightened joy by bringing joy to others. This altruistic behavior creates a virtuous cycle, boosting their happiness and sense of purpose as well as modeling this behavior for younger women.
A study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that consistent mindfulness practices such as yoga, meditation, and prayer lead to better emotional health and overall life satisfaction.
It feels good to get outside of ourselves (and our overly active minds) sometimes, huh?
Building Joyful Communities
In my life experience and limited historical knowledge, women don't need to be taught how to gather and connect, for crying out loud!! Sewing circles and over-the-fence chats have existed since time began. Tradition heralds generations of women celebrating and supporting each other through bridal showers, births, birthdays, and breast cancer support groups. We are notorious for rallying around each other, even overlooking envy or estrangement.
As we grow older and become more thoughtful about how we want to spend our time (and with whom), now can be the perfect time to get re-engaged with things that mattered to us in our younger years. Sororities, Junior League, DAR, Garden Clubs, Women's Ministries, and Arts Auxiliary groups are desperate for committed women with time and talent. Not to mention treasure...many of us enjoy a more comfortable financial position than when we participated as younger members. Purpose can be found in funding programs or capital ventures for organizations with which we feel aligned. Teacher Sister found a group that connects tutors to struggling kids in her new community, which activates her gifts on her own terms. Younger women watching older women find meaning and purpose while sharing similar values can literally impact the sustainability of these organizations.
Active participation in positive activities and organizations can also reinforce the joy factor. According to the American Psychological Association, nurturing friendships through shared interests directly correlates with happiness. Women who immerse themselves in joyful communities report feeling a renewed sense of purpose and belonging. It's also more fun when you look forward to seeing the people you know you'll find there.
Your family can be a joyful community (and I sincerely hope it is)...especially if there are grandchildren in it.
A Picture of Joy
A few weeks ago, I met someone who exudes so much joy, it radiates off of her. With some time on my hands and a desire for a creative outlet that wasn't tied to my laptop, I searched "crochet lessons in St. Petersburg" and found "Camp Cheryl's," a creative studio offering many types of artistic coaching, including crochet and knitting. (Lessons are just $25 an hour? I can do this...) The day of my first session, I approached with reluctant curiosity a modest home with gravel and plastic flowers in the yard across from a discount strip mall. As I tentatively entered the driveway (unsure if Google Maps had led me astray), out popped a lovely lady in a bright purple outfit with the warmest, sweetest smile and a hug for a greeting. We crocheted in her small living room on bare folding tables as she shared her story (without complaining) of having had two strokes, surviving cancer, giving up her car (since driving and working are no longer possible), and hosting several knitting/crocheting/craft circles in her home. Her circle fittingly called Made With Love has made hundreds of blankets with matching stuffed animals for kids abruptly removed from their homes. Her spare bedroom was filled to the ceiling with yarn and supplies people had generously given her. Her husband works three jobs and she adores him. The mailman arrived at the door and she welcomed him by name before asking about a postal co-worker for whom she had been praying. Her smile never wavered. Her spirit of gratitude was palpable. Her faith was evident.
If that's not joy, I don't know what is.
What brings you joy? Whatever it is, I wish you more of it.
Check out Camp Cheryl's Facebook page if you're so inspired. You might even see someone you recognize. ;) https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61554515708048
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